Independent Women: Jillian Parsons

Jillian is a comedic wordsmith based in Canada who sat down to chat about her experiences as a comedy writer.

Women In Comedy: Tell us a little about your background and how you came to pursue comedy as a career?

Jillian: It definitely has something, if not everything, to do with the way I was raised. My family is very funny. Not in a cozy or familiar way, but more a distinct, overtly weird sort of way. The “Parsons Humour”, as it is known on my mother’s side, comes directly from my father. This is someone who, when my sisters and were young, would use his feet instead of puppets to act out scenes before bedtime. And someone who most recently wrote and performed a song for his own amusement on Thanksgiving entitled “Tammy Took the Turkey to Town” (for real - I don’t know how my Mom does it). How we grew up, the way we spoke to each other, and the lengths my Dad, my siblings, and I would go to get laughs, made it almost impossible for me to write with a serious tone, about serious matters. I can get there, but spinning thoughtful yarns for the masses will never be my forte. I am much more at home being strange and ridiculous. There is no point in pressing on with what you don’t know, which you’ll discover, is the advice I forgot to apply when choosing the subject of my first book.

But back to being ridiculous. I don’t mean it in a devaluing way, and when you consider I got my “start” penning satirical erotica about high school friends, for high school friends? Well, I doubt there is any other word that could better describe that. Those short stories were insane. With titles like “A Very Hairy Christmas”, “Infatuation Felching” and “Fat Sex”, it became pretty clear that I write most proficiently about all things opposite of “profound”. I thrive in the shallowest depths. Unfortunately, there isn’t much of a market for “funny pornography”, so I had to go to school. I completed a Bachelor of Science, followed by an Advanced Diploma in Marine Geomatics. I was hired immediately and began working in and out of the Gulf of Mexico, doing something I am technically “qualified” for but don’t love. Working offshore can be bleak. We call it “prison with a chance of drowning”. So, yeah…

But if I hadn’t gone there, I wouldn’t be here. While bobbing around on the high seas I wrote my first manuscript. It took about a year to finish, and a few months later I signed with a literary agency in New Jersey. The lesson I took away? Hating your job is one hell of a motivator, and it’s how I ended up with a satirical maternity guide -written from the perspective of a childless and unmarried woman in her thirties – me.

Women In Comedy: What's one of the biggest obstacles you've faced on your road to success as a comedian?

Jillian: Recently I got a letter from a publishing house where an editor was just so picking up what I was putting down in my manuscript. She was pumped, and that had me ready (and willing) to spontaneously combust. I was so jacked. Of course, after showing it to her team, she relayed back a decline, with the note “… some people just didn’t find Jillian all that funny.” As “Mark” from the creators of “Jeff” would say “You gotta laugh”. It’s that “tugging on your shirt collar/yikes” feeling, but it also forces you to face the fact that not everyone will find you’re hilarious. Sometimes not even a little bit, and you know what? It’s totally okay. I can’t slight a person for not siding with my idea of comedy, and I certainly won’t take offense (usually). If anything, comments like that tell me what I have is unfamiliar, and unique. I can’t see how either of those things can be bad. If everyone was in on the joke, it wouldn’t be me. It would be “Friends”, and that show went off the air a long time ago.

But the personal preferences of others is not the biggest obstacle I’ve encountered. The biggest obstacle has been creating a social media platform to call my own, which is essentially an “internet-y” way of saying “getting strangers to believe in you, and believe you are worth keeping their eye on”. I have a lovely agent and I was lucky to get picked rather quickly, but that good fortune eventually slowed. Shopping around non-fiction is not an easy sell, I’ve discovered. Bigwig publishers want to know you have an audience ready to buy, and will dig their heels in pretty deep until you do. I was oblivious to the value of a solid social media presence and have been playing catch up ever since. Now, everyday I work on building “likes” for my Facebook page, “followers” for my Twitter account, and “views” for my parody food blog. Self-promotion takes a lot of time and a maddening amount of patience, but when you consider the potential rewards at the end of the shameless rainbow I am forcing down the throats of everyone who has had the fortune (or misfortune) of meeting me, I would say it’s more than worth the effort.

Women In Comedy: When did you first decide to start your own project what was the inspiration behind starting it? How did you come up with the name for it?

Jillian: When I turned 30, I was spending six months of the year running survey lines through the Gulf. It was a job that afforded my co-workers and I pretty sizable amounts of off-time, most of which was spent begging friends to sign into Facebook so we could shoot the shit. Anything to avoid having to throw myself overboard just for something to do

The idea struck while talking with one of my best friends on messenger. If all my gal pals had to be assigned Sex and The City characters, she would be my Miranda. She was always my favorite - unforgivably realistic and a staunch anti-romantic. We were killing time scrolling through our newsfeeds. Again. Commenting on all the crazy things new and seasoned Moms were sharing on their walls, assigning levels of “totes inappropes”-ness to their posts, and trying to figure out what could possess some women we knew to claim (on the most public forum of them all) “One never knows love until they have a child”. My friend is a Mom herself, but like me, she was ready to puke from the daily over dosage of figurative (and alienating) cheese. But however hard to swallow it seemed at times, it was also really funny. To both of us. Moms + the Internet = a goldmine of accidental comedy. I joked about writing a parenting guide, being the non-parent that I am, and we laughed at “how well that would go over”. It didn’t take long, however, to realize that it might not be such a crazy idea. In fact, it might be a brave and brilliant one. Maybe it was what every Mom and Non-Mom needed. A reconnection of sorts, in the form of a shared good laugh.

Listen, I know motherhood is a serious business, and so too are all the millions of prescriptive books for expectant mothers already in existence. I say we lighten up that section of the bookstore and give Mom a chance to read the straight dope as someone like me sees it. Someone who can get away with poking fun because I am not speaking from, or claiming experience. Because I have not done a better job at parenting than anybody. And because I am whole heartedly just kidding while waxing poetic on the perceived offenses of the over-zealous maternal crowd. I ran the idea by my sisters, my friends, my parents, and anyone who would listen. Everyone said, “do it”, so I did.

As for the name? My agent and I settled on “How to Keep Laughing When You’re F’ing Expecting”. I use the expletive as a way to set the tone, but also to acknowledge the badass-ness of Motherhood. I mean, these are child-bearing women we’re talking about. They’ve proven they’re far from innocent, so I have to assume they won’t be rattled by a little F-bomb. As far as publishers, well that remains to be seen

Women In Comedy: For someone who has never read some of your work- how would you describe the experience?

Jillian: I want everything I write to feel as if I am in the middle of a conversation and the reader is the person on the other end. One of the biggest compliments friends have paid me has been when they say they can “hear me talking” while reading my work. I can be wordy, and I often purposefully turn into tangents most other writers would avoid. The thing is, that’s the way I speak. Carefully and un-carefully at the same time. If I can’t hear myself in my writing, I consider it a red flag and start over.

Women In Comedy: Why do you think it is important for women to create their own work in comedy?

Jillian: I don’t know who I would be looking to if it wasn’t me creating my own work. I don’t think I would know how to play out someone else’s routine. Demonstrating my voice and my sense of humor, on my terms, is incredibly important to me. Being heard is difficult for females in any work force, whether it be on a boat in the middle of the ocean, or on a bookshelf amongst other writers. Being found funny as a female? They say that’s an even tougher game, but I am combative by nature and willing to play. I have no problem advocating for myself and doing whatever it takes to get where I feel I deserve to be. Like contacting your website, with essentially no platform to stand on except a few wheels in motion, and asking for help. Putting myself out there is always worth the shot and creating my own work, taking it to all these different places, has been so absolutely rewarding. The more opportunities that arise and the more doors that open, the more I am convinced I’m on the right track. Of course, if you’re looking for the short answer, I would say “It just is, and it’s why groups like yours are so important.”

Women In Comedy: Who has been one of your mentors/someone you look up to that has encouraged you to be an independent woman/create your own opportunities?

Jillian: I am lucky to say that my parents, sisters, and extended family have all been very encouraging. They all serve as cheerleaders and mentors, but it’s kind of strange for me to think about. Being supportive of each other’s endeavors is never something my family members and I have to muster. It’s always just assumed. Sure you’re going to be made fun of a bit, or a lot, for whatever choices you may be making any given time, but the bottom line has always been everyone is on board. It’s like when my father taped a flute to a pan and introduced me as a “Professional Pan-Flutist” in a short film he and my Mom made for no reason when I was four, or the time my sister and I recorded our own Christmas album in the late nineties (which ended with a terrible, harmonic version of “Great Balls of Fire”) and when we played it for our parents we laughed so hard we peed on the living room floor. To anyone else this would sound like a disaster, but it was a triumph. Firstly, we ended up only being grounded from the VCR, as opposed to the usual everything. Secondly, we got a ton of laughs. My point is, these kinds of performances were cultivated in our household, and left me with feelings I continue to chase today. So it’s like I said, I’m lucky to have a bunch of wingnuts in my corner. They have made this leap a hell of a lot easier.

Be sure to check out Jillian online!

Jillian Parsons

Chester, Nova Scotia, Canada

Writer, represented by Priya Doraswamy of Lotus Lane Literary

Twitter: @HTFtoLaugh

Facebook: Jillian M Parsons

Blog: The Regular Food Critic